From Screen Time to Quality Time: Rediscovering Father-Child Connections

Technology can be a great tool. It allows us to connect with family across the globe, work from home, and, of course, watch all the newest Netflix shows from anywhere, anytime (did you catch the latest season of Stranger Things yet?).

Unfortunately, we are addicted to our screens, and it’s hurting the relationships we have with everyone, including our own children. In fact, the average American spends over 7 hours staring at a screen each day but only spends 55-125 minutes each day with their children.

Even worse, fathers often spend less time with their children than mothers do, so 55-125 minutes might be generous when it comes to male role models.

Keep reading to learn more about the reasons why we should limit the use of technology for both fathers and kids, learn how you can connect with your children by disconnecting from tech, and discover some greater activities for dads and sons and daughters.

Reasons Why You Should Disconnect From Tech

Excessive screen time isn’t good for anybody and both adults and children can suffer the consequences. Here are some of the reasons why you should figure out how to reduce technology use in your household.

• Higher risk of obesity

• Poor focus and educational problems

• Negative impact on sleep

• Higher likelihood of anxiety and depression

• Inability to develop healthy coping strategies

And that's just the beginning. As fathers, we want positive relationships with our children more than anything. We want lifelong bonds, cherished memories, and healthy communication. Technology can impede those goals.

A 2015 survey found that a third of children felt unimportant when their parents looked at their smartphones during meals or when playing together. Even just a quick text could be telling your child that your phone is more important to them, even though that’s obviously not the case.

So, with all these consequences of excessive technology use, do we actually see the benefits of limiting screen time? Absolutely!

Limiting screen time correlates with lower stress levels, better sleep, improved mental performance, higher productivity, better physical health, and, of course, more free time that you can use to ensure thriving relationships with your beloved kids.

So, it seems that parents should limit screen time, but learning how to limit technology use as a father can be challenging. Read on to learn how to connect with your children without using technology as a crutch!

How to Disconnect from Tech and Connect with Your Children as a Father

As fathers, we’re here to guide our children toward healthy habits, but when we’re addicted to tech ourselves, that can become a challenge. Whatever you do for your children when it comes to disconnecting with tech, you should also do it for yourself. Not only is it good for your well-being, but also because leading by example is the best way to instill lifelong values in your children.

So, what can you start doing today and what activities can you use to connect with your sons and daughters, without relying on phones, tablets, televisions, laptops, and other devices?

Establish Rules for Your Family

Figuring out how to limit cell phone use for teenagers will be different than limiting screen time for elementary school kids. Either way, the rules need to be based on your own family, but for most it means setting rules that will instantly, or gradually, reduce screen time.

Here are a few common rules you can consider implementing:

• No digital devices during family meals (these are important)

• No electronics when you are participating in a family activity

• No screen time in the car (when you can talk and enjoy each other's company!)

• No screen time before bed (1 hour before bed, nobody can use their devices)

Now, you can probably anticipate some griping from your kids (and maybe your wife too!), but if you plan proper activities for father and son, father and daughter, and wife and husband, then they probably won’t care as much as you think. After all, they love spending time with you just as much as you love spending time with them!

Take a Walk

Not only is walking great physical exercise, but it’s a great way to escape from the pressure of technology. Unlike long hiking excursions, a walk is something you can do every single day with your children to promote a healthier lifestyle, have meaningful conversations, and show them the world.

You can also do the same with bicycles of course! If your kids are anything like mine, they’ll love riding their bikes with dad. Try exploring new places each day to provoke a sense of curiosity and enjoyment.

Go On a Tech Free Camping Trip

This is something you can do as a technology detox. Take the whole family on a 2 or 3-day camping trip without technology. Teach your kids to safely build a fire, put up a tent, and enjoy the beautiful gift of nature. Plus, it’s a great way to get back to your manhood, away from responsibilities, and to the basics of building connections with family.

Not only that, but it’s insanely good for mental health, meaning you can counteract some of the negative effects that technology has had on our stress, sleep, and state of mind. In fact, 98% of studies on nature and psychology demonstrated better mental health outcomes.

A tech-free camping trip is also something you can do every year (or more often than that!). Pretty soon, your kids will be asking to go even more often because they’ll see how great the outdoors and wilderness can be!

Read with Your Kids

Some of my favorite memories with my father were when he read Hardy Boys to me. It can help promote a love of learning and books as well as a strong bond between father and son or daughter.

If you haven’t been reading to your children before, then it might be a little rough going at first. After all, we’re used to a screen and constant stimulation. But as soon as they hear you read about something exciting, their interest should perk up and you’ll be on your way to making precious memories in no time.

Start a Long-Term Project

Long-term Daddy-daughter projects and father-and-son projects can teach valuable lessons in perseverance, hard work, goal setting, and more. While the specifics of the project will likely depend on your children's interests and hobbies, here are some ideas for both long and shorter projects you can use as inspiration:

• Building wood crafts with father and son building kits

• Collecting insects, stamps, rocks, or anything else

• Planning and going on a family vacation

• Cooking a great holiday meal

• Trying a science experiment

• Setting up an obstacle course or scavenger hunt

• Making DIY corn hole sets, chess sets, or other toys and games

• Fixing up and restoring an old vehicle

• Filming a home movie for the entire year

Ready to Disconnect from Tech and Connect with Your Children?

As you can see, there are lots of reasons for parents limiting screen time. It can harm the bond between father and son/daughter, interfere with sleep, and impact behavior and education. The good news is that you can start planning activities for father and son or dad and daughter activities to replace screen time and instantly start boosting your relationship with your kids.

Try outdoor activities like walking, biking, or camping, and add in some reading and indoor projects based on cooking or woodwork. Pretty soon, you’ll forget all about your phone, be more present and form lifelong memories with your son or daughter!

Then, check out our workshops (coming soon!) to learn some great activities to foster your masculinity, connect with your family, and learn new skills!